I feel grumpy and I don’t like it.

We received an e-mail from USCIS yesterday. They are the US folks (In Haiti) who are reviewing all the documents for Wilna and Lovence (Laurentz is not in this step yet). We had hoped to get an e-mail of approval, meaning we would bring Wilna and Lovence home in three weeks or so. The e-mail instead asked for an extract of their birth certificates from the National Archives. An extract is essentially a short-form of their birth information. It legally summarizes the data and confirms that the birth certificate they have on hand is valid.

I guess they ask for this a lot.

I’m all for certifying, verifying, authenticating. But we estimate this will delay their homecoming another 4 weeks – at least.

And I’m so ready to have our children home.

I was the picture of spiritual maturity yesterday, trusting God in the timing, spending very little time upset and more time calculating dates and figuring out possible details. I reasoned that with the delay, maybe Laurentz would be able to come home with them. That would be good, right?

But then today.

I nearly cried when Savannah refused to eat her turkey burger.

I felt my stress level grow exponentially (and irrationally) when I noticed the cluttered countertop and spotted the crumbs on my carpet.

I about jumped down Brian’s throat when he didn’t hear me ask a question.

I walked away. Stomped a foot. Pouted.

I’m sad. And as I write that, the tears come again.

Yes, I trust God, with all my heart and soul. And at the same time I also feel the emotions of another four weeks without our children home. Mostly for Wilna. Lovence doesn’t understand it quite as well, but I told Wilna I would do my best to come back for her in June. Now it will be July. Maybe August. Maybe I shouldn’t have specified a time frame, but we had been told April or May, so I figured June was pretty safe.

She’s growing up. She’s shedding childhood.

And yes, she’s strong and brave, a little stoic even.

But after I left last time, I found out she cried under the big mango tree.

She’s still a little girl in need of a mom and I miss her.

I miss Lovence.

I miss Laurentz.

It’s been nearly four years. It’s time.

I’ve been wanting to capture our whole adoption story in video. I’ve been working on it for weeks. I’ve cried every time I’ve edited, watched, uploaded. I love hearing other stories… and it was time to share ours.  Click here to watch the journey.

We wait and wait and wait and wait and wait…

And then there’s a day like yesterday – when great things happen and the tears flow.

Yesterday afternoon we received three pieces of news that have us doing the happy adoption jig.

We have passports for Wilna and Lovence!

Wilna Colopy. Lovence Colopy. It’s enough to give us goosebumps!

We also received the adoption decree for Laurentz. For those of you who know what a journey this has been, it’s a miracle to see his name: Laurentz Claury Colopy. 

Goosebumps and tears!

And finally, Wilna and Lovence have been submitted to USCIS. That means we should get the news that it’s time to pick them up in about 5 – 7 weeks.

Goosebumps, tears and great joy!

We are so grateful to God for this wonderful news, so excited, so nervous, so full of every type of emotion you could possibly imagine.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your prayers, encouragement and love. It’s made all the difference on this long journey. I will update you on this blog as we get closer and ultimately bring them home. I will also be doing video blogs on YouTube of our family’s journey. So many people have prayed them home, we want to continue to share the ride! While we will protect the kids (allowing them to tell their own stories in their own timeframe and honoring their feelings), I will be sharing the parental side of adoption and including short, fun clips of the kids. You can check out our first preparation videos here and here. Subscribe after you watch if you would like to see our homecoming (which to keep from overwhelming the kids, will be documented by video but very low key!)

Thanking God for you and for this exciting new step!

We are getting close.

We’ve prepared their rooms and prepared our hearts.

Wilna’s room – delighted in making this ready for her!

Full size bunk beds for the boys so we can cuddle them as they fall asleep!

Their play/school room

So exciting to prepare!

And so tomorrow I leave for one of my final visits to our children. I’m praying it’s the last visit where we leave them behind, as our adoption facilitator is saying we will have Wilna and Lovence home sometime in June, Laurentz hopefully six weeks later. (It turns out that they were unable to locate Laurentz’s birth father – I have heard (sadly), this is not unusual. We should still be able to adopt Laurentz.)

My nephew, Andrew, will join me on this trip and I’m praying for safety, sweet moments with him, great connection to the kids and intimate moments with my God.

Andrew 🙂

I’m also praying for my hubby and my mama – who will be watching over Savannah while I’m away. At three, she is go, go, go. I’m praying that Brian is still able to get some work done in between playing dolls, doing gymnastics and building pink lego houses.

Our go, go, go girl!

Will you pray those things with me?

Oh what joy!

The high: Got an e-mail from our adoption facilitator that our young birth mom made it to the embassy and was firm in her commitment to adoption. Oh Lord, to parent this little boy we love so much! We were thrilled. High fived. Laughed out loud.

The low: We received an e-mail from USCIS (the embassy) a few hours later. Our young mom wrote the name of a birth father. Up to this point she had been the only parent named – the father was unknown. Of course USCIS wants to interview this man. That interview is now scheduled for March 22nd.

The truth (even though it’s hard): Dad deserves a voice. It’s so important that Laurentz’s dad knows what is going on and feels comfortable with this decision. He should also have the right to say no. Or yes. Or maybe.

The frustration: We know truth and we honor it. But we’re just not a huge fan of our hearts beating out there all fragile and vulnerable for what seems like forever.

But then again that’s what adoption is all about. And it’s not likely to change even after we get one, two or three of them home.

Fragile. Vulnerable. Out there.

It’s what we signed up for.

What would I do without you?

It wouldn’t be pretty. You have prayed with us through three and a half years. Just a bit more, we hope! Oh wait, but then you have to pray for us once we have them home too… sorry.  There’s really no end in sight to our need for you. 🙂

Ok, so Laurentz’s mom has made it to two appointments on the Haitian side of the adoption (Yay!). She has one more to attend – and this is a big one for the US side. This Wednesday she will go to the US Embassy. It’s a huge deal that they gave us another appointment (thank you, Lord!), please pray that she makes it and that all goes according to God’s will. We would love to believe that WE are God’s will for our sweet Laurentz, but we hold fast to the truth that God knows a whole lot more than we do. Pray for God’s best for this little boy, whatever that may be!

Also, will you please say a prayer for Brian? He will travel to Haiti late Wednesday evening, and arrive Thursday morning. He will stay until the following Tuesday. Pray for sweet moments of connection for he and the children, health and intimate moments with our God.

Thank you friends! I will update you as soon as I hear anything about the appointment.

I always pick the best times to go to Haiti. I’ve gotten caught up in a riot and been drenched in an unrelenting downpour. I’ve listened to gunshots and couldn’t leave because of tires burning outside the orphanage gate…

It’s always interesting.

I leave this morning for another trip. Of course it wasn’t until after I scheduled it that I found out there are elections going on. Not to worry, says the US, except for the days leading up to the election and the days immediately after. Then you have to watch out for road blocks, burning tires in the streets, out-of-control protests.

And you thought American politics were dicey…

All that to say, please pray.

I head out in an hour and will meet up with my niece, Mallory, in Miami. We will spend the night there and land into Haiti tomorrow. The election is planned for Sunday and we leave again on Tuesday (Hmmm, would that constitute a few days leading up to and a few after the election?). Please pray for a safe arrival to the orphanage and that we will be able to leave when it’s time to head to the airport on Tuesday. Pray also that God would protect us while we spend time with the children and that all the staff, children and visitors would be safe within the confines of New Life.

***interruption by adorable toddler, packing, dogs barking, smooching my man, a random TV show***

So I was going to write a nice long update blog, but now I have to jump in the shower and head to the airport. So let me get right to the point. Will you please pray for these things, starting ummmm, now?

• Safe travels to and from the orphanage, and while we are there.
• Sweet time of connection with my lovely niece, Mallory
• Wonderful moments with Wilna and Lovence, that they would know how much they are loved – that they are family. Pray for our bond to grow deeply and sweetly in this visit.
• Comforting moments as my heart aches for Laurentz. I will go to the toddler room to hear the little ones say, “Mama Laurentz!” only no Laurentz will be there.

Thank you, dear ones! I will update you when I return!

We love this little boy.

Laurentz.

Laurentz was 15 months old when we met him. Late on that first evening, I held him in my arms and he fell asleep. Sitting for a good while in devotions with the kids, he became sweaty against my shoulder. I adjusted him to lay on my lap, his head by my knees, his little feet resting on my belly. His arms fell to the sides – outstretched. I laid my hand on his chest and I prayed for him. I prayed that God would protect him, that he would plant a love for him in his heart from an early age. I prayed he would become a man of God with a heart for people. I prayed that God would watch over him all of his days – and that should it be in his plan, that we would get to love him as our son.

It was an intense moment. It stays with me still, nearly 39 months later. We began the process to adopt Laurentz. His birth mom was unable to care for him and had signed papers releasing him. We submitted our dossier and the journey began.

Last week, in an unexpected turn of events, Laurentz’s birth mom came for him and took him from the orphanage. She gathered his belongings. She left, little Laurentz in tow.

In a perfect world, we would celebrate. What better thing than for a mom and son to be reunited, for our boy to be raised by his birth family and to live in his home country? Family restored. Life renewed. Hope again.

I want the very best for Laurentz.

And yet I fight worry for him. I’m sometimes overwhelmed with the sadness. In my brain, we would either love him here or love him there. It never occurred to me that we might never get to see him again.

And that’s a distinct possibility.

In two days we have our final birth parent interview. If his mom doesn’t come, the US will officially deny the adoption. At this point, it’s looking like we will not get to bring our little boy home.

But still we pray. We are taking these few days leading up to the interview to pray intensely for his life. We don’t want to lose him, but we trust God. He knows Laurentz, He loves him. He knows his mom. He knows what is best and He knows the plans He has for that beautiful little life.

We love him too. We want him to grow into the man God created him to be. We want him to be safe, loved, delighted in… We want his future to unfold with great adventures on the horizon and deep wells of love to tap into as he pursues them.

He has the best smile and we want him to smile a lot… even if we never get to see it.

It would be arrogant of me to assume we are the best parents for Laurentz, so yes, while we love him like crazy, we do trust that God may have other plans.

Of course that doesn’t make the potential loss any less.

Our hearts ache.

Will you please pray for Laurentz? Pray for his mama. Pray for his family there. Pray for his best to unfold and for us to celebrate God’s goodness in the midst of our own emotions. Laurentz is a sweet, sweet boy who deserves big love and a bright future. And should it be that his future is with us, pray his mama comes to the interview and gives us the chance to raise him. If not, may God strengthen her to be a wonderful mama who kisses his cheeks and wipes his tears and equips him to live a full, beautiful, glorious life. Oh God, please bring your best to Laurentz …. wherever and with whomever that may be. You are good and we hold on to you, even when the emotions flood our hearts and seep out of our eyes. Watch over Laurentz – for all the days he has on this earth, my God. He is a beautiful boy and we love him.

Three years ago we started the process to adopt Lovence and Laurentz. Then God brought Savannah into our lives, then Wilna. Now we are fighting to bring all four together under the same roof.

Savannah asks for them regularly. “My brothers and sister,” she says and points to their smiling faces framed on our kitchen counter.

“I want them.”

We do too, baby.

And it’s slowly happening. As you last heard, we had to fire our previous adoption facilitator. I’ve since been to Haiti and filed the i600 – this is a document that would classify the children as our immediate relatives so that we can get them home. That won’t happen until the Haitian side of the paperwork is complete, but that’s coming together. We HAVE received the authorization for adoption from social services there, and we HAVE hired an official placing agency to help us finalize all the paperwork.

Things are looking up.

Unfortunately, while we’ve been fighting for them, Laurentz turned 4, Lovence turned 8 and Wilna turns 11 in just 12 days. They are growing up too far away from their home and family.

Brian will travel today, landing in Haiti tomorrow morning. He couldn’t be with Wilna on her actual birthday, but it will be close. He even has gifts wrapped in the suitcase – probably the first wrapped gifts she’s ever received.

He’ll be with them until September 9^th. We will try to travel there every other month until we can bring them home.

We want them to know that they know we will always come back.

September 8^th is another big day. The birth parents will have to bring our children to the US Embassy in Haiti. They’ll be interviewed with the kids to verify that all that’s happening is according to their wishes.

I can’t imagine what that will feel like for our children – particularly Wilna who is old enough to understand. I can’t imagine what it will feel like to the parents as they stand before the Embassy officials.

And so we pray.

Oh Lord, will you be with these parents? May your will be done for them, for their children, for our family. Keep Brian safe and watch over his visit. May his time with the children be sweet, wonderful, delightful to their hearts.

In Jesus name, Amen.

PS. I would love to give you a time frame for when we’ll finally bring them home, but it’s always so  hard to say. We hope it will be springtime… Lord willing.