I feel grumpy and I don’t like it.
We received an e-mail from USCIS yesterday. They are the US folks (In Haiti) who are reviewing all the documents for Wilna and Lovence (Laurentz is not in this step yet). We had hoped to get an e-mail of approval, meaning we would bring Wilna and Lovence home in three weeks or so. The e-mail instead asked for an extract of their birth certificates from the National Archives. An extract is essentially a short-form of their birth information. It legally summarizes the data and confirms that the birth certificate they have on hand is valid.
I guess they ask for this a lot.
I’m all for certifying, verifying, authenticating. But we estimate this will delay their homecoming another 4 weeks – at least.
And I’m so ready to have our children home.
I was the picture of spiritual maturity yesterday, trusting God in the timing, spending very little time upset and more time calculating dates and figuring out possible details. I reasoned that with the delay, maybe Laurentz would be able to come home with them. That would be good, right?
But then today.
I nearly cried when Savannah refused to eat her turkey burger.
I felt my stress level grow exponentially (and irrationally) when I noticed the cluttered countertop and spotted the crumbs on my carpet.
I about jumped down Brian’s throat when he didn’t hear me ask a question.
I walked away. Stomped a foot. Pouted.
I’m sad. And as I write that, the tears come again.
Yes, I trust God, with all my heart and soul. And at the same time I also feel the emotions of another four weeks without our children home. Mostly for Wilna. Lovence doesn’t understand it quite as well, but I told Wilna I would do my best to come back for her in June. Now it will be July. Maybe August. Maybe I shouldn’t have specified a time frame, but we had been told April or May, so I figured June was pretty safe.
She’s growing up. She’s shedding childhood.
And yes, she’s strong and brave, a little stoic even.
But after I left last time, I found out she cried under the big mango tree.
She’s still a little girl in need of a mom and I miss her.
I miss Lovence.
I miss Laurentz.
It’s been nearly four years. It’s time.