I wish I had good news

I’ve been waiting to update you. Nearly every month we have been hearing that Wilna will be added to our Haitian adoption file.

I visited in February and we submitted the fees and gathered paperwork.

Things looked great. Maybe next week, we heard.

I visited in March and hand delivered a letter to our adoption liaison. In the letter we shared how important it would be to keep Lovence and Wilna together. We shared how our hearts and our home were ready. We shared how much we longed for Wilna to be part of our family… how in our hearts she already is…

Things looked great. Maybe next week, we heard. Certainly next week.

It’s now nearly June. Brian is in Haiti right now and Wilna is still not added to our file. We found that out today and our hearts are very heavy.

Brian told me over FaceTime and we just stared at each other across the miles. Both optimists, in this painful moment we felt discouraged, angry and frustrated. It will still be at least nine months of waiting after Wilna is officially added in to our file. Each month that passes makes the coming home date that much further out.

And the harder reality – the more time that passes, we fear our chances to add Wilna grow less and less.

And we love this girl so very much.

Wilna and me

Wilna and me

I gathered up Savannah and went to the gym. I turned up the music and pushed my body hard. I felt helpless.

After the elliptical I wandered over to the weights. The music from my iphone was still blaring in my ears. I remembered how back in high school I would lie in bed and listen to the radio at night. With teenage romantic longing, I would think of my current crush and say, “This next song is how he feels about me.” If I was lucky, it was a love song crooning about how wonderful I was… more often than not, it was something utterly disappointing, like Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”

I smiled into the mirror and did the same thing. Since most of my music is faith based, I whispered, “Ok, God, the next song is what you feel about these adoptions.” I was hoping it would be one of my favorite adoption songs, something like “Home” or “Always” or “Wanted.” I knew if one of those came on, God would be speaking his encouragement to my worry.

My one and only instrumental came on. I glanced down at the title of the song. “Now is the time to worship.”

Now is the time to worship. Not knowing what will come. Not knowing how it will all end. Not knowing anything, really. Now is the time.

I did.

God, you are good.

No matter what.

God, you are loving and kind and gracious and strong.

Whether we bring home all three children or our hearts break because none of them take that journey with us.

God, you are glorious and mighty!

You can make this happen in a breath. Nothing can stop your plans for every single one of us.

God, you are our refuge.

You are our safe place to land. You are Wilna and Lovence and Laurentz’s safe place to land. You are their Father in all the best ways. You hold them and you hold us.

You are good.

We trust you.

And so I ask, friends who are along for the ride, please pray. As we focus on God’s goodness, we need prayer. We need prayer for Wilna and Lovence and Laurentz. Pray that our good God would bring good things to pass in their lives and that if it’s His will, that Wilna would be added even this week so we can bring our children home by next spring.

We miss them. And we do want them home.

So we can all praise our good God…. together.

IMG_4432

Thank you.

26 thoughts on “I wish I had good news

  1. O sweet sis. How our hearts ache… we are praying right now… May Gods peace that is above your understanding saturate you and Bryan and hold those kids- each one. We trust with you. And cannot wait to see you in a few weeks! O how I wish I could speed this whole process up for you.

    PS- may I come to your room for a glass of wine, a good cry, and a heart warming convo at the reunion? On second thought… May I invite you to mine?

    Loved to Love

  2. I am almost as sad to hear this news as I am grateful to hear your faithfulness. He does know the end from the beginning and though its been a long beginning I too believe it will be a glorious ending. He’s hanging on to you so you hang in there!

  3. Oh sweet sweet sister, my heart is breaking for you and the kids. I will and am most certainly praying. I think we should have a praise and prayer time at our reunion in 2 weeks…worship and pray together as a family..for these needs specifically! I cannot wait to hug your neck and kiss your sweet face!! Love you sooooo much!! See you soon!!!
    –wendy

  4. Bless you and Bryan for being such faithful stewards of God. No way could you be this strong with out your faith in The Lord. May your hopes for all three kids be realized soon and may God continue to give you both the patience you’ll need as you wait for His answer.
    Peace dear one. Hugs, Donna

  5. Dear Elsa & Bryan: Our prayers go with you as you have been so faithful and praying while waiting so long for these three adoptions to go through. I’ve been to Haiti and worked with children and know how hard it is to adopt through the system over there. Praying with you that God answers your prayers and all three adoptions come through in a timely manner. Savannah is beautiful and such a blessing from God.
    Love You Guys,
    Diana & Paul Nino

  6. Crying out with you knowing the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much! May God reach down and touch the hearts of those who hold the paperwork in their hands. May THY WILL BE DONE! You are loved and prayed for everlastingly! Love, Jodi

  7. Oh Elsa, such a journey of trusting in the Lord. You are faithful even with your heart aching. I pray for so many of the children in the process. Hang in there and I am praying for your 3 sweet children to be in your loving home.

  8. Dear Elsa,   My heart is aching because of the the news about  Wilna. It is hard to believe that the authourities in Haiti would mislead you so all this time.    The most amazing part of your post is the way you ended it – with supreme trust in God and his mercy.  Even with all the disappointments you remind us that He is Lord and that He loves Wilna, Lovence and Laurantz more that any of us can.  At such times I need to be reminded and I thank you for being His faithful servant.   I’ve been battling a nasty sinus infection all week.  As soon as I can talk without it resulting in a coughing fit I will call and we can commiserate.   My love to all,   Nat

    • Thank you, Nat – I’m so grateful for your prayers and heart for us. And honestly, it’s not so much the authorities in Haiti, it’s just the optimism of our liaison there. He thought he could get things done and it just hasn’t happened. I’m praying that he gets a fire in his belly to help get our children home. Please, Lord! Love you, my friend.

  9. Dear Elsa, As we all know, it is never our timing but God’s. And it is never fast enough. I am praying for swift approvals for all so you can bring these 3 precious children home! All the glory to our precious Father! God Bless! Brenda

  10. Dear Elsa and family, we want you to know that we think about you, and that we’re praying for strenght to keep up! God’s taking care and will provide. Much Love, Jeroen, Joanne & Aimée

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